Yesterday my friend was looking at my hair and she told me that she really liked my waves…

I told her that i would perm my hair next week and she asked me why i wanted to do that. Now the expression on her face was more like, “why would you want to do that? you’re making a mistake you will regret ever making”. She let me know that my hair would never go back to the way it is right now. She has relaxed hair and she’s had it like that for years and her hair is way longer than mine. Currently she has a weave.

I understand my friends’ concern and i really appreciate it. At least i have someone to help me look at both sides of what am about to do. I have thought about this for years and i know why i want to do it. I am happy i never permed my hair before because now i am more informed about hair care than i ever was and i can take care of my hair all by myself.

I choose to relax my hair because:
1) I have always wanted to do so. I have been putting it off for over a decade because i thought that despite getting that silky straight hair perms give you, i would have “damaged” hair forever. Now that i am better informed, i know that one can have healthy relaxed hair. And if i don’t want to have permed hair anymore, i can transition (not relax for months then cut off the relaxed hair) for however long i choose or do a big chop (basically cut off my hair). I have gotten to the point where i realize that my hair will grow healthy if i take good care of it so am not scared anymore of cutting it.

2) I love love LOVE straight hair! I love wearing it down. I love having the wind blow in my hair and its even better if it blows it in my face 🙂 I wore my hair straight 99.9% in 2007. I was in college then and i absolutely loved it! The reason why i stopped wearing it like this brings me to the next point.

3) Heat damage. Because of my natural hair type and texture (3b,3c,4 something – medium to coarse), the only way i can get it straight without use of chemicals is by using high heat. I can only keep it straight for 2 weeks and then it starts to revert to its coily, curly state. When 2008 rolled up i had really damaged my hair from blow drying it every 2 weeks (for a whole year) on high heat without heat protectant. I am not going to blame heat abuse for all the damage my hair endured, but it played a major role.

4) It is way easier for me to manage. Since i started taking better care of my natural hair, i can not say that i have had a hard time dealing with it. I can easily take care of it but when it is straight, its even easier for me.
I think for me…personally, relaxed hair is so versatile. MY OPINION! I have seen ladies with natural hair get really creative with it, mine is always borderline disaster when i try so believe me when i say that i have huge respect for them. I am not really that patient when it comes to that kind of styling and i don’t know how to go about it…not willing to learn either (maybe some time in the future i will) but for now, i prefer dealing with straight hair.

5) My lifestyle. My life is changing and i am tired of having the same look every single time. Like i said earlier, i believe relaxed hair is so versatile so, i want to be able to wear it neat for work, curly when i go out to party or whatever, messy when am just chilling out at home or with friends, decent but not too neat for church…you get where am going with this. I just want to try something different and have fun with it.

6) Low manipulation. Because i have been wearing my hair straight for the better part of the year, i have had to look for ways to style it. I have to say that bantu knot outs are really great. I love the fact that i can wear my hair different (curly) and not have to use a comb! all i have to do is fluff it into a style! I know that with my natural hair, i can still do low manipulative styles but if i chose to do so, i am never quite able to properly massage my scalp (which i love doing by the way 🙂 ) I always end up combing my hair in the end! I like being able to go for a week if i can manage without combing my hair.

7) In addition to wearing my hair straight, i love having my hair slicked down. With straight hair, this is easily achieved with no product. When i have to deal with flyaways, i can use very little product for that. Even with the natural state of my hair right now, not straightened, i make sure i slick it down with gel. Call me old fashioned but thats how i define neat…when no hair is out of place…perfect for work.

8) The take down 🙂 At the end of the day, i like to take my hair down and wear it loose and free. It helps me relax. Sometimes i take it down in my way home when my hair is straight. Now, you can see how this does not really work with my gelled up hair :-/ i don’t like how i look when i do so and believe me, i need gel for my natural hair…



  1. This really helped me, am mulling over whether to relax my hair and have finally decided to go ahead. I also have a friend who has been relaxed since she was 13 but told me not to relax, I didnt get why. Currently am wondering on the mildest relaxer around in Kenya to use coz my hair is not coarse..dont know the type.

    • Hi Shiru, most people are just starting to learn about healthy hair care. Those who relaxed their hair way back didn’t know how to take care of it so it broke off, got thin and what not. This is why you’ll find them dissuading you from getting a relaxer. However, there is so much information out there nowadays to help one achieve healthy relaxed hair. I would urge you to do your research and if you have any questions feel free to ask me.

      About the relaxer, i know for a fact that the ORS relaxer i use is mild. Alot of people with fine hair love it. Dark n lovely beautiful beginnings relaxer is also mild. I haven’t used it but one of my friends who has fine hair uses it. check online for relaxer reviews.

      I hope this info helps you. Keep me updated 🙂

  2. Thanks for the info, I have been considering beautiful beginnings as well, will try it or ORS when I do finally relax. Am planning to relax in the last week of April coz as of now am working on getting healthy hair. I have been braiding back to back in the past and this has taken its toll on my hair line mostly and also thickness.
    I love straight hair and have also noticed my hair thrives more when left alone…no braiding e.t.c
    I might relax earlier depending on the condition of my hair. Will keep you posted.
    Thanks again for this blog especially. Av been scouring it up and down lol…you can tell by the fact that I got to this post.

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