…a very long while.
For the past year or so, my blogging game has been spotty at best. I went back to school and really put a lot of focus on that. I studied way smarter than I did when I was in Uni or even in my earlier school years. I surprised myself and it paid off. I did well, could have done better but overall, I did well. Am still studying though and have an exam next week. You never stop learning you know 🙂
In one of my older posts I mentioned that I didn’t really like my occupation and that I wanted to change my career path. Well, its grown on me 🙂 Guess sometimes you’ve just got to stick it out. Still, I went back to school and am now pursuing yet another career path.
So earlier this year I got the opportunity to actually do what I love (I work in healthcare by the way). I got to schedule my hours on the most part and sometimes worked double shifts (worked on weekends too!) just because. I enjoyed working so much and I honestly think I got carried away. I also worked the graveyard shift which meant longer hours but that was not a problem for me. Sunday nights were great because come Monday morning, I’d be heading home to sleep. On a Monday morning! None of that Monday morning blues business 😀
As can be expected, I burned out. One morning I woke up, ironed my shirt and went straight back to bed. I just didn’t feel like going to work and so I didn’t. I think I spent most of that day in bed. The next day, I felt so rested. I hadn’t realized how hard I was pushing myself and how exhausted my physical and mental self was. Looking back, it was apparent to others. I remember one of my patients telling me that he had seen me that morning and asking how come I was still there…it was almost 7pm then. Another time a nurse kept asking me if I was okay, that I looked tired. Another one straight out told me to go home. I told her my shift wasn’t over and she said, “go home”. I now realize that for me to be effective, I need to take care of myself. Rest.
Am not working at the moment. I took about two months off to study and this hard! I have no motivation (don’t know how I did it before). My exam date is drawing near and I feel like I know nothing. I’ve been having this feeling of dread hovering over me…ignored it for a while (am pretty good at distracting myself) but I’ve got to face the fact that come next week…I just need to keep studying. On the bright side, now that I have all this “free” time, I put myself on a schedule to keep me from scrambling. You know how it is when panic sets in 😀 I’ve set aside about 9 hours of personal study a day for the next week till my paper. Sometimes I get 10. I need more hours but thats the best I can do now. And I like being on a schedule. Makes me more productive.
Moving on, lets ‘talk’ about my fitness and nutrition game. Let me start by stating that I struggle with motivation. I tend to forget my ‘why’. Why I workout, why I eat clean, why anything…I need a vision board or something. I have so much on my mind and my priorities get messed up. Anyway, my fitness game…not good. I workout here and there, get sore and stop working out for a while.
Nutrition-wise, night shifts had me eating one good meal a day. Other days, I just didn’t eat lunch. I never liked buying lunch (a proper meal) at work…couldn’t get over how much it cost for one and so I’d have snacks instead. I ate out quite a bit in the evenings on my way home. That would be my supper. Now that am home for a while, there is so much food to eat here 🙂 I just walk to the fridge or take a study break (walk to a fast food place) and grab something to eat. Fact: I love fast food. I watched a bit of the documentary ‘What the health’ and about 10 min in, I turned it off and went had fries and fried chicken. And soda. I freaking love Coca cola. Like, whats wrong with me??!!
I’ve also been going to the cinema a lot. Another one of my nighttime study breaks. See how I distract myself? Its an expensive habit especially once you realize you’ve been to the cinema twice in the same week. So my finances are taking a hit. And why was everyone born in June, July, August?! My cousin bakes and I’ve been ordering and gifting cakes left, right and center! Generous much? Its got to stop. And need I mention my guilty pleasure? The mug cake?
You’d think I’d have gained weight because of my nasty habits but I haven’t. My weight hovers around 56, 57 and 58kg. Am 5ft tall and according to the BMI chart, thats good weight. I have however, had people saying that I’ve gained weight. I do look bigger. I’ve lost a lot of muscle mass (because I don’t really workout) and in its place, I’ve gained fat (remember my love for junk food?). I feel fluffy/squishy/soft/rounder…all that. I also feel like my bras got smaller but am still a member of the #ittybittycommittee 😀 I guess my lack of weight gain is due to the fact that am still physically active. For example, I love taking walks (I’ve even blocked off an hour in my daily schedule just for evening walks). Of course when I have plans to go somewhere for the day I walk for more than an hour.
I think I’ll end this here.
Not the most uplifting Not an uplifting post but I felt like putting this up. So much for a life update.
I’ll do better.
Have a great weekend!